Life Lately

Warning: Rambling to begin…. now.

For two people who value consistency  and stability in their lives, my husband and I sure experience a lot of change. But that’s okay. We knew before we ever got married (8 months ago today, yay!) that we would be setting sail into a sea with constantly changing winds and waters. Each day is different and exciting, and it seems that we never really know what to expect.  It’s been a huge adventure, to say the least.

What a lot of married women will say to young ladies who are engaged to be married is that with all the changing and shifting winds, comes new responsibilities and coping with your spouse’s reactions to those changes. They say that you learn so much more about your significant other AFTER you get married than you ever did while you were dating. When this was said to me on numerous occasions, I thought to myself “eh… I’m not sure about that…I know him prettttttty well…” That advice (or maybe it was a warning!) was one of the truest things anyone told me.

See, before Alex and I got married, how would I have known how he would react to changes in his financial stability, changes in climate, and changes in daily responsibilities? I didn't even know how I would react! Even though we were dating for 4 years prior to marriage, the changes we experienced in life leading up to the big day were minimal, at best. We never dealt with insurance claims, job security, internet and phone bills, etc… We were college students on our parent’s health insurance, not needing to work unless we wanted to (HAH!). Our biggest source of stress for the majority of that time was our grades, and maybe how we best used the time we had on a 3 day weekend to have as much fun as possible.

Since we've been married, I have seen at least 1000 sides to my new husband that I just didn't even know existed… and trust me, he’s probably seen about 5000 of mine! But how could I have known that those parts of him existed? I couldn't have. He didn't even know they were there either. Not only is he exploring the new territory of being a husband and what that means in all aspects of life, he’s taking all these new changes and struggles head on and doing his best to react to them in the most Biblical way he can; and I need to support him in that, even though it may mean acclimating to a different facet of his personality that I never knew before; because that’s exactly how we grow even closer together and form an even deeper relationship. Whoever expects to get married and EVERYTHING to stay like it was before is in for a very big surprise!

The thing about getting married is that you’re committing to stick together even though you will learn things about each other that you never knew before. No one was dishonest about anything, it’s just life’s natural curvatures that we are twisting and turning through, and no one farther ahead of us (no matter how hard they try) can create a completely accurate map to get us through it safely. Everyone's road is different. We’ll probably get a little bruised up as we go on this ride, because it’s bumpy and sometimes we are foolish and don’t wear our seat belts (aka: staying in God’s word and taking part in daily prayer).

Something I am learning is that whether I am doing well at growing with the Lord, or backsliding and not taking the time I should to be in the word, the bumps, the curves, and the twists and turns are STILL going to come! And it’s usually when we don’t expect it at all. It’s up to ME how prepared I am to handle those situations… and It’s best to be prepared and in unity with your spouse in your closeness with the Lord. This will not only make life’s challenges a little easier to handle, but it will help BOTH of you to react in a more Biblical way that brings you together…and doesn't drive a wedge between you.

In my sweet, baby, brand new marriage, one of the most valuable things I have grasped so far is that it is completely unfair to not prioritize Jesus; not only for your own spiritual health, but for the spiritual health of your partner. We are facing unknown roads ahead, and the only way to be completely unified and prepared to handle them is with the unity only the Lord can bring in a marriage. 

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On to some other things! I wanted to share some pictures from our life recently, because even though it's twisting and turning all the time, we have a lot of fun! :)

A couple of weeks ago, my darling, handsome husband decided that I deserved a break from cooking dinner and as soon (and I mean AS SOON) as I pulled in at home, he hopped in the car and said we were going out! This was us outside of the Macaroni Grill :)

Two weekends ago, we had the immensely wonderful opportunity to visit my parents while they were vacationing in Oceanside, CA. We had a ton of fun with them and it was so nice to spend time with them. We ate out one night at King's Fish House in Carslbad!

We would not be "Alex and Marybeth" if we did not go to Taco Bell for dinner to celebrate the return of the Beefy Crunch Burrito.... Alex was so excited that he ordered FOUR! 

Last week, we discovered that just down our street there was a community center with a couple small lakes attached to it... We went for a stroll there and it was just lovely! We saw so many baby ducks, which I just couldn't stop following and taking pictures of. 

This thing called life has treated us so well, and our big God has taken care of us and provided more than what we need on a regular basis. He's constantly proving how mighty and powerful He is!

xoxo

More Precious Than Rubies

Selfishness is the root of a lot of disagreements. Last night my hubby and I had a really nice long chat about how we can bring up common issues in a gentler, more considerate, and more selfless way.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like we spend a ton of time fighting and arguing. But we are human, and we’re imperfect, and we are bound to have disagreements. Last weekend, we spent a night visiting with a couple, Sarah and Jonathan, who we have become very close to over the last year or two. They are really a wonderful duo to spend time with and are also recently married. 

I spent time chatting with my dear friend Sarah while the guys were out and about and we discovered that a common thought we both end up having as a result of disagreements with our husbands goes something like.. “why was that such a big deal to me?” or “why didn’t I just let that go?” Does anyone know what I mean? Sometimes I seriously wonder what came over me that one small thing was suddenly such a big deal that I couldn’t just let it go, move on…no big deal. After thinking about this more, I can only conclude that my fallen nature demands that I make a big deal about silly things; that I act like a drama queen in reaction to my husband not doing something he said he would do, or not being in the mood I think he should be in, or that I didn’t get the amount of sleep I thought I needed, or, or, or… you get the picture.

I have a choice though. Praise God He gave us the ability to choose. I don’t have to be a drama queen, and I don’t have to give in to the world’s demands for selfishness. The problem that I encounter is that because my hubby and I are best friends, then by nature, he is who I am genuinely my most authentic self with. And if my most authentic self has trouble sometimes with allowing him to be less than perfect (key word: SOMETIMES) than what does that say about who I am? I truly desire nothing more than to serve my husband and to provide him with the most supportive sanctuary of a home, full of love and consistency. I want him to be able to count on me. Truly, I know he does and can count on me, and I thank God so much for giving me the ability to be the wife I have been so far even though I am prone to failure. 

The conversation we had last night led to a discussion about the importance of self-improvement and personal growth. We both want to devote more of our time to this. If I am not spending the time I am supposed to in prayer (on my own) and the time I am supposed to in the word (on my own) than how can I really attack the issues that I personally have that have the ability to affect my marriage? I desire to be a wife that is virtuous, and I see so much room for improvement, and believe me, I think that’s a great thing! I am so blessed to have a husband that values me, adores me, listens to me, and trusts me with his life. I want to commit myself even more to the Lord so I can be even more deserving of my husband’s trust and devotion. 

I want a daily goal of mine to be to wake up and put aside all selfishness, and submit each day to the Lord. He has mine, and my husband’s best interest in mind and at heart and I want to [continue to] choose Him daily and not to give into the world’s yanking me in the direction of selfishness. My God and my husband deserve a woman who is pursuing kingdom things and godliness in every aspect of life!

Who can find a virtuous and noble wife? She is more precious than rubies. Proverbs 31:10

xoxo

Not Surprised

What happens in this world does not surprise me. Maybe on the surface, my initial reaction… my first exclamation may seem surprised, or shocked. But after careful thought, I am always reminded of the state of the world in which we live. It is not surprising that people kill other people for money; it is not surprising that there are hate groups on every corner spewing negative slurs at others; it is not surprising that people are selfish and fallen and put their own welfare above even the ones they claim to love. It’s not even surprising to me that people kill their own babies while they are still in the womb. 

The fallen and spiritually deprived world that we live in is not surprising; it is heartbreaking.

In the simplicity of childhood, I enjoyed the pure bliss of ignorance. Maybe I can call it ignorance. I was young, and what mattered to me most was the immediate; the here and now… And maybe one hour into the future. (Even though I was aware of these things) what was going on in the world… terrorism, murder, abortion, rape, (the list goes on…) were not relevant to a child like me. I remember very vividly the morning of 9/11. I woke up to get ready for school; my mom had just come home from the gym and was glued to the news. I watched the second tower fall. Right before my eyes I watched it, but I didn’t understand it. I went to school where they had a mandatory “kid news” program they made us watch that was supposed to explain this horrific event in more delicate and simple way so we could understand it better, and I still didn’t. I thought, “okay… some buildings fell down and a lot of people died, that’s really sad.” 

It wasn’t until much later that I fully grasped the concept of what was happening to our country… to the world. When I started hearing words like “war” and “high jacking” I began to understand in my own little mind that the world in which I lived was much bigger than what games I played, who I hung out with, and what movie or TV program I watched. I began to hurt for the lives that were lost, and worry about what would happen next.

I think I was a good child. I had a big heart and I cared for people, but it was a challenge to expand my mind past what was going on immediately around me. Once I did, my worldview changed. I was aware of abortion, and kidnappings, and murder, etc. in ways I wasn’t before. 

Over the last several years and the recent months, I have followed the news on the topic of abortion. I have read the stories and seen the videos. I have cried, and felt outraged. I have felt compassion, and hatred -not for people, but for the act. Even though my husband and I aren’t currently having children, we would welcome a child with more than open arms. My desire to bear my own children is one of my deepest. That being said, my thoughts on abortion are not based on my OWN desire to have babies. They are based on the Lord, on scripture, on morals, on what’s right and what’s wrong. 

Currently on the news, a man named Ariel Castro is accused of holding 3 women captive in his home for a decade while sexually and physically abusing them, impregnating them and in more cases than not, starving and beating them to induce miscarriages. While this is sickening and disgusting in more ways than one, I am also shocked that the news media is backing prosecutors who are seeking the death penalty for Castro on charges of MURDER. Meaning that the times he impregnated one of his victims, than brutally punched her in the belly, starved her, and God knows what else just so she would miscarry, he was murdering a child, a baby, a life. And that is apparently punishable by death, in this case. 

What about the woman who gets pregnant by her husband, the man she loves, the man she wants to have children with… (just not yet)? She goes into an abortion clinic where that baby inside of her, no further developed (or maybe further)  than that of one of Castro’s victim’s children, is brutally torn apart, piece by piece, and suctioned out with a vacuum to be thrown in the garbage? Is this not considered the same MURDER that Castro is likely to be charged with because it occurs in a clean, clinical setting? Who decides when killing a child is punishable by DEATH, and then the next day just a regular trip to the doctor??

I really don’t have words to fully convey my sadness and disgust with this system. Who, besides our God, has the authority to determine when and under what circumstances the SAME CRIME should be considered murder?

My soul aches for this fallen place; for this dark place. There are a lot of things that should encourage Christians to be who you are called to be and this is one of those things. We are lights! Only light can make the darkness brighter. 

I am also encouraged by the community of believers that surround this issue, and many others. Where would our world be without them? I encourage everyone to be more proactive in just showing the light of Jesus to those around you. We don’t need to stand on street corners and protest; we don’t even need to get in debates with those around us regarding these prevalent issues. We need to LOVE, and LOVE everyone. We need to understand that someone who is not following Jesus does not have the same way of thinking and CANNOT be expected to. We are called to walk with others, to live life alongside people who need the Lord, and to get on our knees and pray for them.

Why aren’t we doing this more? What better way is there to make a difference than to live radically different? I pray we answer God’s call even when the events of the day are so inconsistent, so ugly, and so dark.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

-Psalm 139:13-16 

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay evil with evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

-Romans 12:9-18

xoxo