Bread. It’s simple, it’s delicious, and in even its most
plain form, it’s life sustaining. I
have had bread on my mind quite a bit lately.
About a year ago, just a couple short months after my sweet
husband proposed to me, we began the “future discussions.” We knew that the
next step was getting Alex into Grad School, but we didn’t know where. And even
once we decided on a school (he applied to a few), there were still the
questions of, “Where will we live?” “How will we make our money?” “STUDENT LOAN
PAYMENTS?!” … you catch my drift. With deciding to get married, came a lotttt of responsible decisions to
make. But for two undergrad (almost graduates), it was really scary.
We didn’t know what to expect from graduate school once he
accepted his enrollment at Pepperdine, and we made the decision that I would
put him through the program financially. We spent a long 4 months of our
engagement apart while I rented a room in the area and started my job hunt, and
it was truly one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Ever.
Moving to a new place, like college for instance, is full of
excitement and joy and maybe some fear, but the fear is usually masked by all
the fun you’re having meeting new people that are also in the same situation as
you. Moving to a new city that you have never been to, into a house with a
person you don’t know, to start a job hunt in the big, bad scary world – this was
a whole different kind of story.
God provides in his own perfect timing – always. Every time.
Without fail. This has been proven to me time and time again – yet I still had
the fear in the back of my head that I would not be able to find a job before
Alex started school, then we had our wedding and we would have no income and
things would be terrible. But God prevails EVERY TIME. Did I say that already?
He provided the perfect apartment for me to put a deposit
down on just in time for Alex to move here, he provided a job that paid exactly
what we needed to pay our bills and live pretty comfortably and start paying on
the dreaded student loans. He always wins against the fear.
I was living in the role of the bread winner. It was
challenging, and interfered sometimes with my ideas of being a housewife and
nesting, but I was doing what I know God needed me to do right now for our
family.
When I lost my job three weeks ago, a whirlwind of fear,
uncertainty and anxiety came upon us and we were left with no choice whatsoever
but to trust God. I could not imagine enduring the stress of the job hunt
again, with only so much time before we really
needed the income. I felt that a clock was ticking.
God did a work in me over the time I spent at my last job. I
had times of frustration with the job itself, with the unstable nature of the
job, and not being able to see that this “bread winning” thing was not necessarily
permanent. He taught me that He has us here for a reason, and that Alex’s
education will be valuable. And I learned to be content with His will when it’s
the most difficult.
We talked a few times over the course of the months I was
working about how unnatural it felt
for me to be gone all day working, while Alex was home all day doing homework,
washing the dishes (praise the Lord!) and being able to get housework done. It
wasn’t JUST me that felt that our roles were reversed. But my husband in his
amazingness, always reassures me that he can’t
wait until he can provide for our family, and I am quick to remind him that
he already IS providing – just not monetarily. The provision he brings is much
more valuable to me – security, love, guidance, perseverance, and hope (just to
name a few).
Like I said before, God provides in His mysterious, perfect ways and after my job hunt recommenced 3 short weeks ago, I received a call to
interview for one of the positions I applied for at Pepperdine – of all places!
A week after my interview, I was offered the job. Two days before that, Alex
received news that he is being offered a full ride for his education next year
in addition to his stipend.
HOW amazing is God’s timing? Through fear and anxiety, He
brings joy. Not just because he provided a job, but because He made it
abundantly clear that He had something else in mind for us – and fearing it
would never do us any good. So we decided not to fear, but to enjoy this season
– even if it meant having no income for a while.
I have an entirely new outlook on “winning bread” now. I
believe that is maybe part of why God allowed this all to happen. I see that
his purposes are so pure and right, even when we can’t see them.
While I was out of work for a few weeks, I decided to learn
to literally make bread. I figured,
if I can make bread, we can survive – maybe that sounds weird. But it made
sense to me. The very first loaf that I made was completely satisfying,
delicious, and wonderful, and gone in 2 days! I was brought clarity through my
ability to make bread that everything was going to be okay because we have our
Lord, and we have each other, and we have life.
I want to share the recipe because this bread was SO darn
delicious, and quite simple to make! I hope you all enjoy it and are brought as
much fulfillment from it as we were.
Courtesy of The Simple Dollar:
Ingredients:
1/4 cup milk
5 teaspoons sugar (or 1 1/2 tablespoons)
1 teaspoons salt
5 teaspoons melted butter (or 1 1/2 tablespoons)
1 package active dry yeast (I bought yeast in bulk from Costco and measured out 2 and ¼ teaspoons)
2 1/2 to 3 1/2 cups flour
Corn starch or nonstick cooking spray
5 teaspoons sugar (or 1 1/2 tablespoons)
1 teaspoons salt
5 teaspoons melted butter (or 1 1/2 tablespoons)
1 package active dry yeast (I bought yeast in bulk from Costco and measured out 2 and ¼ teaspoons)
2 1/2 to 3 1/2 cups flour
Corn starch or nonstick cooking spray
- First, mix the yeast with warm water as instructed on packaging – for me it was one cup.
- Then add all the rest of the ingredients except for the flour and whisk out any lumps that may have been left by the yeast.
- Next, start by adding two full cups of flour. The dough will be very sticky so continue to add flour in tablespoon increments until the dough is not too substantially sticky and you can handle it with your clean hands.
- Then comes the fun part! Start kneading the dough on a floured surface (you may need to add bits of flour as you go to prevent sticking) for a total of 10 minutes. This gave me a bit of an arm workout – so it was a win/win!
- Once the dough has been kneaded for 10 minutes, roll it in to a ball and place in a greased bowl and cover with a towel in a warm place (I placed the bowl on the stove top under the overhead lights) for one hour.
- After one hour, you will see that the dough has probably risen about 2x its original size. Remove it from the bowl and flatten it out on your floured surface. Roll it up like a tootsie roll about the length of your standard bread pan, fold under the edges if necessary. Place the roll in your greased bread pan, cover with a towel, and let it rise for an ADDITIONAL one hour.
- After this hour, you will see it is starting to look like an actual loaf of bread. Place the loaf in a 400 degree preheated oven and back for 20-30 minutes. (the recipe originally said 30 minutes, I removed mine after 20 and it was perfect).
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? - Matthew 6:25-27
xoxo
