A little over a week ago, my husband and I returned from our first real vacation together. We left on a cruise ship from Los Angeles and we ended up in Vancouver, B.C., where we hopped on a couple airplanes and came back home a week after it all began. On our voyage, we stopped in San Francisco, and Victoria, B.C. and it was just lovely. I will definitely post pictures soon!
Only days before we left, Alex finally defended his thesis. It was sweet relief to know that we could leave for vacation he didn't have to think about school! He was done! We had a lot of talks about or future goals, his new employment, and how we wanted to move forward in life now that he was done with grad school. This has been what life is all about for almost two years now!
For the last two years, we have talked and talked about what would happen next after Alex was done, "What will we do?" "Where will we go?" "What will be our next big adventure?" We (I) truly thought we would be high-tailing it out of here and on to other big things! God had other ideas in mind, though.
For months, I've felt God tugging and twisting on my heart and completely changing my perspective on what I thought I wanted. I've prayed for him to make my plans His plans, and that He would help my desires be His desires. But I craved change and adventure!
This vacation; a time of talking about the future, wrestling through uncertainty, feeling like we were in limbo with potential opportunities on the horizon (and not knowing whether to run to them), was when we finally let go of all that uncertainty. I don't think we knew that at the time, but I realize it now. We felt motivated and excited to start fresh in this new phase of life once we were home, it was going to be a good and productive week!!
... Little did I know it would be an awful week. Truly, there are worse weeks to be had, but this one took the cake for me at least in recent months AND considering we had just returned from such a fun vacation.
But really, a week with triple digit temperatures, and no working AC in the car? I was a WRECK every evening when I got home. The car would sit baking in the sun all day waiting for me to get in it and take my 30 minute commute! It didn't matter if I had had a good day or not, it was all forgotten when I walked in our front door dripping in sweat and feeling disgusting. One evening when I got home, my body temperature was over 100! We also lived in a pigsty for a week... neither of us able to find the determination to unpack/do laundry/do dishes. Alex also got sick, like... "I'm just going to lay here in bed for a few days because there's literally nothing else I can physically do" kind of sick. Really, every day last week was a grouchy, stubborn, hot, annoying day and we could not get our acts together.
I also found out that one of my very close friends here would be going through a personal tragedy unlike any other and I was/am hurting for her. She is truly a soul-friend and I don't know what else I can do but seek the Father for her.
Very high ups happen, and very deep lows happen, too. But He remains consistent.
With the week being so off, we still heard God through it all and He calmed our spirits, He clarified to me that I am too invested in the future and not invested enough in the present. Are we headed off to another big adventure? We are already in the midst of it. Are we going to put down roots? We already have been! We are done being in limbo, and we are excited and at peace that this is our home, at least for now. We are so blessed with the employment opportunity Alex has been given and this exciting time of learning and growing for both of us. Sometimes we are surprised with awful weeks when we expect good ones, but it's all for His glory! And I'm learning to keep my expectations and futuristic tendencies in check!
Praise Him for the wonderful, tight grasp He has on our lives.
We are right where we are supposed to be.
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| Vancouver, B.C. |
