Keeping Expectations in Check

A little over a week ago, my husband and I returned from our first real vacation together. We left on a cruise ship from Los Angeles and we ended up in Vancouver, B.C., where we hopped on a couple airplanes and came back home a week after it all began. On our voyage, we stopped in San Francisco, and Victoria, B.C. and it was just lovely. I will definitely post pictures soon!

Only days before we left, Alex finally defended his thesis. It was sweet relief to know that we could leave for vacation he didn't have to think about school! He was done! We had a lot of talks about or future goals, his new employment, and how we wanted to move forward in life now that he was done with grad school. This has been what life is all about for almost two years now!

For the last two years, we have talked and talked about what would happen next after Alex was done, "What will we do?" "Where will we go?" "What will be our next big adventure?" We (I) truly thought we would be high-tailing it out of here and on to other big things! God had other ideas in mind, though.

For months, I've felt God tugging and twisting on my heart and completely changing my perspective on what I thought I wanted. I've prayed for him to make my plans His plans, and that He would help my desires be His desires. But I craved change and adventure!

This vacation; a time of talking about the future, wrestling through uncertainty, feeling like we were in limbo with potential opportunities on the horizon (and not knowing whether to run to them), was when we finally let go of all that uncertainty. I don't think we knew that at the time, but I realize it now. We felt motivated and excited to start fresh in this new phase of life once we were home, it was going to be a good and productive week!!

... Little did I know it would be an awful week. Truly, there are worse weeks to be had, but this one took the cake for me at least in recent months AND considering we had just returned from such a fun vacation.

But really, a week with triple digit temperatures, and no working AC in the car? I was a WRECK every evening when I got home. The car would sit baking in the sun all day waiting for me to get in it and take my 30 minute commute! It didn't matter if I had had a good day or not, it was all forgotten when I walked in our front door dripping in sweat and feeling disgusting. One evening when I got home, my body temperature was over 100! We also lived in a pigsty for a week... neither of us able to find the determination to unpack/do laundry/do dishes. Alex also got sick, like... "I'm just going to lay here in bed for a few days because there's literally nothing else I can physically do" kind of sick. Really, every day last week was a grouchy, stubborn, hot, annoying day and we could not get our acts together.

I also found out that one of my very close friends here would be going through a personal tragedy unlike any other and I was/am hurting for her. She is truly a soul-friend and I don't know what else I can do but seek the Father for her.

Very high ups happen, and very deep lows happen, too. But He remains consistent.

With the week being so off, we still heard God through it all and He calmed our spirits, He clarified to me that I am too invested in the future and not invested enough in the present. Are we headed off to another big adventure? We are already in the midst of it. Are we going to put down roots? We already have been! We are done being in limbo, and we are excited and at peace that this is our home, at least for now. We are so blessed with the employment opportunity Alex has been given and this exciting time of learning and growing for both of us. Sometimes we are surprised with awful weeks when we expect good ones, but it's all for His glory! And I'm learning to keep my expectations and futuristic tendencies in check!

Praise Him for the wonderful, tight grasp He has on our lives.

We are right where we are supposed to be.

Vancouver, B.C.

Peace Amid the Chaos

Hello, remember me? I’m not sure how I completely lost sight and focus with this blog. It has been a roller coaster few months! Sounds cliché… it's what people generally say when they have neglected their blogs for a while (guilty!), but I mean this in a different way.

Life has actually been a roller coaster. With my husband winding down to finish grad school, we are faced with a time of transition – which we have not yet faced in our married relationship. When we were dating, the biggest transition we faced as a couple was graduating from college and getting married. While that was a beautiful time in our lives, it was stressful. I moved here alone, rented a room, and started the inevitable, terrifying job hunt so we would have the means to get him through graduate school. As I look back on that time, I am humbled in being able to stand outside of it looking in, seeing all the nooks and crannies where the Lord was doing work that I was unaware of. Oh how I would change that, how I would go back and acknowledge his beautiful handiwork, his perfectly orchestrated opportunities and interventions. Was I ignorant? Possibly. Stress can do incredible things to human beings.

I say all of that to explain that now, although we aren't under a time crunch of finding a job and planning a wedding, we’re facing more transitions and deadlines. In a moment of vulnerability let me explain:

I really haven’t sat down and had a heart to heart with my dear husband in a couple weeks. Don’t get me wrong, we've had plenty of conversations! This is most definitely not a complaint, we have both had to make some sacrifices! I have truly never been more impressed and proud of someone. Even though we may have not really had a heart to heart, I know his heart and he knows mine. I know his struggles and what’s bothering him, I know when he wants to give up and move on to something else, but then I watch him in his conflicted thoughts of apathy versus his drive to succeed for us and for the Lord...he gets up and goes back to the work that needs to be completed. I respect him so much. We both know this season will end soon (very soon!)... it's been a serious growing experience for both of us and I've never been more proud that he is mine.

Coming up here very quickly, he will really be done… and then what? All our marriage has ever known is grad school, which is an interesting idea. We have systems and routines that are a direct result of the situation we were in when we got married and they are about to change!

To say the least, we have been on a very long roller coaster.

For now, we are extremely excited for the CRUISE we booked!!!! We embark on May 4th and we could not be MORE excited! Praise God for opening this little window of opportunity for me and my husband to get away together, it is much needed! Happy graduation, Alex!!

We are trusting the Lord to take us where he will, because we know he will be faithful! Alex has already accepted a post graduate position he has been juggling alongside school for the last couple months. We know God truly provides!

Another reason I have neglected my blog (at least recently), is because I took a break from all social media during Lent and I considered the blog to be part of that. My purposes were to rid myself of one of the biggest distractions in my life that take me away from Jesus. I was not completely successful at keeping things simplified. I find that I am very good and finding distractions. That said, it was a wonderful decision, and I learned a lot about myself and a lot about the Lord. A lot has happened in that time-frame though!

Let’s play catchup!

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Shortly before what would have been his 18th birthday, my first kitty-love, my first real pet companion passed away. The 18 years of laughter and love I shared with Theo will never be forgotten. It was definitely a rough day but I'm glad I had my awesome hubby to let me cry and be there to cheer me up.

He loved Alex too, even though Alex came much later in Theo's life :)

The same evening I heard from my parents about Theo, Alex took me out for dinner and to distract me, I am very thankful for him. He even bought me this necklace:

On a lighter note, I am still completely amazed at the beauty that surrounds me every day. God has blessed us so much with His creation!! I took this picture when I was arriving to work one morning.

At the beginning of March, Alex and I had to opportunity to go back to CBU for the Christian Nationals Debate Tournament a whole day since Alex was working with Pepperdine's debate team. It was such a fun day! My good friend Amber went with me since her hubby debates and we spent the day with our guys, and I also got to see and catch up with some other friends as well!

Later in March, we had the fun idea to finally go explore Ventura! We had such a fun time. We checked out a local produce stand, went on a harbor boat tour, walked around the beach and ended the evening browsing Main street and having a lovely dinner at Dargan's , a local Irish pub!

Alex's good friend Tom, who was also in our wedding, was able to come down from Santa Barbara to visit! He and Alex went to come garage sales and we all had a lovely lunch at Chipotle together.... We love having visitors!

Speaking of garage sales, I scored the most amazingly pretty and chic ottoman!

Rug has since been gotten rid of and a new beige rug replaced this one :)

I was able to help plan and attend a pajama party movie night at our church! My friend Amber and I were very excited to be in the sanctuary in our pj's... particularly Amber in her kitty onesie!

With Alex wrapping up at Pepperdine, my department already finished the semester! We had a BBQ for the students and also had to attend/work the graduation the following Saturday. Love these ladies I work with!!!

Lastly, last week Alex and I were able to attend an Alumni event through CBU at Angels Stadium! It came with all you can eat hot dogs and chili, freebies, and admission to the game! We sat in Trout Farm (A section of the stadium for Mike Trout) just to explain the hat! We had tons of fun getting out of our town for an evening and spending some quality time together amid the chaos.

Alex was very into the game ;)

Through all the anxiety and stresses that come with life changes, God is always faithful and true to what He says, and for that I am thankful. My little family is just who they've always been and I love them so <3

I know this post was really long! I'm glad to get caught up though. For those who read all of it, thank you! I am blessed by you. Here's some cat humor to brighten your day :)

The 24 Day Challenge: Day 9

Okay, so I didn't keep my word about posting an update on day 4 or 5 of the challenge! But I'm at least posting again before the "cleanse phase" is over - which is tomorrow!

So far, things have been great! I'll be honest, I wasn't keeping AS close of a track of what I was eating over the weekend; not to say I wasn't "good," but I could have been better. I find that I'm actually way more disciplined when I am at work because the food I have is the food I brought, and it actually takes discipline to prep my meal and snacks for the day.

the cleanse phase has been way better than I anticipated it being! I was of course worried about how it would make me feel to switch my diet so drastically and take all these supplements simultaneously for 10 days - but I've been feeling great! I think I actually have more energy during the day which cannot be said for how I was feeling prior to starting the cleanse.

The hubby and I are both working on portion control, eating lighter, and getting more sleep! I read an article recently on the repercussions of not getting enough sleep and what it does to the body over time... yikes! It's scary.

Overall, I would say I'm very happy so far! I'm looking forward to starting the "Max Phase" of the challenge which includes taking certain supplements throughout the day and I can also start drinking the meal replacement shakes that came with the challenge. I also hope to introduce more exercise into my daily routine for the next 2 weeks. I have been told and have read that it will only aid in the results I see when this whole thing is over with (definitely a given, but important nonetheless..)

I'll still update on here! Hopefully more often than every 9 days :)

xoxo

The 24 Day Challenge: Day 1

So, I originally resolved that I would begin the 24 Day Challenge on January 15th. But today was Monday, and it just felt right.. so here I am!

I did my food preparations last night and I officially began the challenge today. So far, so good!

This morning began with an Herbal Cleanse Fiber drink. Although the texture was just awful, it didn't taste too bad. I downed it and then chased it with a glass of water. Lucky for me, the Herbal Cleanse drink is only for 6 out of the 10 day cleanse phase of the 24 day challenge.

I followed the fiber drink with a glass of Spark. Spark is Advocare's nutritional, vitamin packed energy drink that is actually quite delicious and a wonderful alternative to coffee/creamer or soda.

I had a very healthy breakfast of hard-boiled eggs and a banana and a chicken salad with a light drizzle of raspberry vinaigrette for lunch. All in all, I would say today has been great! Let me not forget to mention that I have already had a GALLON of water to drink today!

I am sure I will have more to say about how I'm feeling and what my progress looks like once I get further into the challenge, so I'll update again around day 4 or 5! (around the middle of the cleanse phase)

I can say with confidence, though, that it feels so good to be intentional about what I'm putting into my body, and I hope that only continues :)