Keeping Expectations in Check

A little over a week ago, my husband and I returned from our first real vacation together. We left on a cruise ship from Los Angeles and we ended up in Vancouver, B.C., where we hopped on a couple airplanes and came back home a week after it all began. On our voyage, we stopped in San Francisco, and Victoria, B.C. and it was just lovely. I will definitely post pictures soon!

Only days before we left, Alex finally defended his thesis. It was sweet relief to know that we could leave for vacation he didn't have to think about school! He was done! We had a lot of talks about or future goals, his new employment, and how we wanted to move forward in life now that he was done with grad school. This has been what life is all about for almost two years now!

For the last two years, we have talked and talked about what would happen next after Alex was done, "What will we do?" "Where will we go?" "What will be our next big adventure?" We (I) truly thought we would be high-tailing it out of here and on to other big things! God had other ideas in mind, though.

For months, I've felt God tugging and twisting on my heart and completely changing my perspective on what I thought I wanted. I've prayed for him to make my plans His plans, and that He would help my desires be His desires. But I craved change and adventure!

This vacation; a time of talking about the future, wrestling through uncertainty, feeling like we were in limbo with potential opportunities on the horizon (and not knowing whether to run to them), was when we finally let go of all that uncertainty. I don't think we knew that at the time, but I realize it now. We felt motivated and excited to start fresh in this new phase of life once we were home, it was going to be a good and productive week!!

... Little did I know it would be an awful week. Truly, there are worse weeks to be had, but this one took the cake for me at least in recent months AND considering we had just returned from such a fun vacation.

But really, a week with triple digit temperatures, and no working AC in the car? I was a WRECK every evening when I got home. The car would sit baking in the sun all day waiting for me to get in it and take my 30 minute commute! It didn't matter if I had had a good day or not, it was all forgotten when I walked in our front door dripping in sweat and feeling disgusting. One evening when I got home, my body temperature was over 100! We also lived in a pigsty for a week... neither of us able to find the determination to unpack/do laundry/do dishes. Alex also got sick, like... "I'm just going to lay here in bed for a few days because there's literally nothing else I can physically do" kind of sick. Really, every day last week was a grouchy, stubborn, hot, annoying day and we could not get our acts together.

I also found out that one of my very close friends here would be going through a personal tragedy unlike any other and I was/am hurting for her. She is truly a soul-friend and I don't know what else I can do but seek the Father for her.

Very high ups happen, and very deep lows happen, too. But He remains consistent.

With the week being so off, we still heard God through it all and He calmed our spirits, He clarified to me that I am too invested in the future and not invested enough in the present. Are we headed off to another big adventure? We are already in the midst of it. Are we going to put down roots? We already have been! We are done being in limbo, and we are excited and at peace that this is our home, at least for now. We are so blessed with the employment opportunity Alex has been given and this exciting time of learning and growing for both of us. Sometimes we are surprised with awful weeks when we expect good ones, but it's all for His glory! And I'm learning to keep my expectations and futuristic tendencies in check!

Praise Him for the wonderful, tight grasp He has on our lives.

We are right where we are supposed to be.

Vancouver, B.C.

Peace Amid the Chaos

Hello, remember me? I’m not sure how I completely lost sight and focus with this blog. It has been a roller coaster few months! Sounds cliché… it's what people generally say when they have neglected their blogs for a while (guilty!), but I mean this in a different way.

Life has actually been a roller coaster. With my husband winding down to finish grad school, we are faced with a time of transition – which we have not yet faced in our married relationship. When we were dating, the biggest transition we faced as a couple was graduating from college and getting married. While that was a beautiful time in our lives, it was stressful. I moved here alone, rented a room, and started the inevitable, terrifying job hunt so we would have the means to get him through graduate school. As I look back on that time, I am humbled in being able to stand outside of it looking in, seeing all the nooks and crannies where the Lord was doing work that I was unaware of. Oh how I would change that, how I would go back and acknowledge his beautiful handiwork, his perfectly orchestrated opportunities and interventions. Was I ignorant? Possibly. Stress can do incredible things to human beings.

I say all of that to explain that now, although we aren't under a time crunch of finding a job and planning a wedding, we’re facing more transitions and deadlines. In a moment of vulnerability let me explain:

I really haven’t sat down and had a heart to heart with my dear husband in a couple weeks. Don’t get me wrong, we've had plenty of conversations! This is most definitely not a complaint, we have both had to make some sacrifices! I have truly never been more impressed and proud of someone. Even though we may have not really had a heart to heart, I know his heart and he knows mine. I know his struggles and what’s bothering him, I know when he wants to give up and move on to something else, but then I watch him in his conflicted thoughts of apathy versus his drive to succeed for us and for the Lord...he gets up and goes back to the work that needs to be completed. I respect him so much. We both know this season will end soon (very soon!)... it's been a serious growing experience for both of us and I've never been more proud that he is mine.

Coming up here very quickly, he will really be done… and then what? All our marriage has ever known is grad school, which is an interesting idea. We have systems and routines that are a direct result of the situation we were in when we got married and they are about to change!

To say the least, we have been on a very long roller coaster.

For now, we are extremely excited for the CRUISE we booked!!!! We embark on May 4th and we could not be MORE excited! Praise God for opening this little window of opportunity for me and my husband to get away together, it is much needed! Happy graduation, Alex!!

We are trusting the Lord to take us where he will, because we know he will be faithful! Alex has already accepted a post graduate position he has been juggling alongside school for the last couple months. We know God truly provides!

Another reason I have neglected my blog (at least recently), is because I took a break from all social media during Lent and I considered the blog to be part of that. My purposes were to rid myself of one of the biggest distractions in my life that take me away from Jesus. I was not completely successful at keeping things simplified. I find that I am very good and finding distractions. That said, it was a wonderful decision, and I learned a lot about myself and a lot about the Lord. A lot has happened in that time-frame though!

Let’s play catchup!

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Shortly before what would have been his 18th birthday, my first kitty-love, my first real pet companion passed away. The 18 years of laughter and love I shared with Theo will never be forgotten. It was definitely a rough day but I'm glad I had my awesome hubby to let me cry and be there to cheer me up.

He loved Alex too, even though Alex came much later in Theo's life :)

The same evening I heard from my parents about Theo, Alex took me out for dinner and to distract me, I am very thankful for him. He even bought me this necklace:

On a lighter note, I am still completely amazed at the beauty that surrounds me every day. God has blessed us so much with His creation!! I took this picture when I was arriving to work one morning.

At the beginning of March, Alex and I had to opportunity to go back to CBU for the Christian Nationals Debate Tournament a whole day since Alex was working with Pepperdine's debate team. It was such a fun day! My good friend Amber went with me since her hubby debates and we spent the day with our guys, and I also got to see and catch up with some other friends as well!

Later in March, we had the fun idea to finally go explore Ventura! We had such a fun time. We checked out a local produce stand, went on a harbor boat tour, walked around the beach and ended the evening browsing Main street and having a lovely dinner at Dargan's , a local Irish pub!

Alex's good friend Tom, who was also in our wedding, was able to come down from Santa Barbara to visit! He and Alex went to come garage sales and we all had a lovely lunch at Chipotle together.... We love having visitors!

Speaking of garage sales, I scored the most amazingly pretty and chic ottoman!

Rug has since been gotten rid of and a new beige rug replaced this one :)

I was able to help plan and attend a pajama party movie night at our church! My friend Amber and I were very excited to be in the sanctuary in our pj's... particularly Amber in her kitty onesie!

With Alex wrapping up at Pepperdine, my department already finished the semester! We had a BBQ for the students and also had to attend/work the graduation the following Saturday. Love these ladies I work with!!!

Lastly, last week Alex and I were able to attend an Alumni event through CBU at Angels Stadium! It came with all you can eat hot dogs and chili, freebies, and admission to the game! We sat in Trout Farm (A section of the stadium for Mike Trout) just to explain the hat! We had tons of fun getting out of our town for an evening and spending some quality time together amid the chaos.

Alex was very into the game ;)

Through all the anxiety and stresses that come with life changes, God is always faithful and true to what He says, and for that I am thankful. My little family is just who they've always been and I love them so <3

I know this post was really long! I'm glad to get caught up though. For those who read all of it, thank you! I am blessed by you. Here's some cat humor to brighten your day :)

The 24 Day Challenge: Day 9

Okay, so I didn't keep my word about posting an update on day 4 or 5 of the challenge! But I'm at least posting again before the "cleanse phase" is over - which is tomorrow!

So far, things have been great! I'll be honest, I wasn't keeping AS close of a track of what I was eating over the weekend; not to say I wasn't "good," but I could have been better. I find that I'm actually way more disciplined when I am at work because the food I have is the food I brought, and it actually takes discipline to prep my meal and snacks for the day.

the cleanse phase has been way better than I anticipated it being! I was of course worried about how it would make me feel to switch my diet so drastically and take all these supplements simultaneously for 10 days - but I've been feeling great! I think I actually have more energy during the day which cannot be said for how I was feeling prior to starting the cleanse.

The hubby and I are both working on portion control, eating lighter, and getting more sleep! I read an article recently on the repercussions of not getting enough sleep and what it does to the body over time... yikes! It's scary.

Overall, I would say I'm very happy so far! I'm looking forward to starting the "Max Phase" of the challenge which includes taking certain supplements throughout the day and I can also start drinking the meal replacement shakes that came with the challenge. I also hope to introduce more exercise into my daily routine for the next 2 weeks. I have been told and have read that it will only aid in the results I see when this whole thing is over with (definitely a given, but important nonetheless..)

I'll still update on here! Hopefully more often than every 9 days :)

xoxo

New Year's Goals

OH my goodness! I haven’t posted since November?! Things have been pretty crazy around here!

Since my last post, Thanksgiving and Christmas have come and gone and we are well into the New Year! We spent Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with Alex’s. It was a lovely time and a very busy couple of months! As nice as it was to see everyone and spend lots of time with family, I am glad to be home and getting back to our normal routine. This week was the first full week back to work after the break we took for Christmas and it’s been rough! I’m definitely ready for the weekend.

Since we’ve been home, we haven’t had too much going on other than getting our lives back in order from traveling so much. Getting back into all the routines has been challenging (work, chores, cooking, etc..). I decided I wanted to learn how to knit a couple days ago and went and bought myself some knitting needles! As you can tell, things have been pretty low key!

Starting on January 15^th, I will be starting the Advocare 24 Day Challenge! A coworker is also starting that day so we can keep each other accountable through the process. The 24 Day Challenge is a great kick start to a healthier way of life and I personally know many people who have had great success with it! Check out the link here for more info! (This is not a sales pitch – I do not sell or distribute Advocare products. I’m just an excited costumer!)

In preparing to do the challenge, I wanted to do some online research and read some real reviews from REAL people who completed the challenge and what their thoughts/results are. Even though my search results brought up many pages of sites to look through, I really didn’t find a lot of what I was looking for as far as reviews. This led me to decide that throughout my process of the challenge, I will post updates here!

Alex and I decided to set some goals for our year. It was really nice to chat about that on New Years Day when we were driving down the coast back to our little town from the Bay Area. Some of our goals include:

Reading more books (at least 10!) – me

Exercising  at least 4 days a week – him

Going on one vacation! – us

Write letters to our future babies – us

It was so nice to get back on the same page about where we’re headed and what our goals are… there are definitely more of them, but this is just a taste. We want to be more Kingdom minded and focusing on good things this year! This year will be one of transitions with him finishing up his Master’s Degree and beginning to work full time! One thing that is so evident to us is that time keeps moving forward, even when we don’t! Reconvening on where our life is headed was a breath of fresh air!

I am also participating in the Carabox exchange through Wifessionals! It has connected me to two very lovely ladies who live in CA and getting to know them has been so fun. I can’t wait to put a box together and to receive one! I’m really starting to take a lot of joy in the blogging community and all it has to offer as far as support and other women who are in the same phase of life! And let me just say, Kaitlyn over at Wifessionals is a wonderful lady! It's because of her blog that I really started to grasp what the blogging world has to offer. It's really a joy to read her posts.

How was everyone else’s  holiday season? I would love to hear about it! I will also take any and all 24 Day Challenge advice! January 15^th is approaching quickly!

Look out for a post of pictures soon from Thanksgiving and Christmas, and also look out for updates on the challenge!

xoxo

Newport Beach is a Little Slice of Heaven

View from the room in Newport Beach

Hi everyone! I thought I'd do a quick post to share about the lovely weekend I had with my in-laws and husband. 

On Friday, my mother and father in-law came into town to visit... and a couple of weeks ago, they told us they would be taking us on an overnight trip to Newport Beach! This wasn't only exciting because it's a nice place to visit, but it's sort of an old haunt for me and Alex. Since our Alma Mater is only about 35 minutes away, we frequently made day trips to Newport while we were in school. Friday night I came home and within 5 minutes they arrived! We went to get some dinner and we all rested up for the trip the next day. 

On Saturday morning, we all loaded up and drove down the coast to Newport. We arrived and ate lunch at Joe's Crab Shack on the water. We devoured our appetizer of Crab Nachos and thoroughly enjoyed our entree's :) It was super slow for some reason so it was nice to feel like we could hang around in the restaurant and soak up the sunshine flooding in and the views of the water! 

Joe's Crab Shack

After we left Joe's, we walked around Fashion Island (I wanted to shop so badly - but Christmas is around the corner..). It was fun walking around and enjoying the beautiful weather. 

It's funny... we absolutely love Newport and all it has to offer, but what I loved the most about this little trip wasn't the views or shops, but it was the nostalgia; reminiscing about our 4 years of dating and how many late night trips to the beach we would take followed by eating 4th meal at Taco Bell. Oh, college life... how we miss you sometimes ;) The time with my in-laws was certainly the best part of this trip though. We hadn't seen them in a few months and it was so nice catching up!

We finally headed to the hotel (ehem, resort...) which was BEAUTIFUL! I loved walking around and soaking up everything when we got there. Here are some more pictures! 

Statue fountain outside the lobby

This place had it's own park!

This is the view from our suite's window

Relaxing for a while before dinner

We were able to stay one night at the resort, and we had a lovely homemade Thanksgiving dinner in the room :) It was nice to eat in and enjoy each other's company. The following morning, we drove to Riverside to visit CBU (our alma mater) and have brunch. It was such a lovely time!! The weather this whole weekend in SoCal was unbelievable! I was really sad to see the weekend and my in-laws go, but on the bright side, we are one week away from visiting my family in my hometown for Thanksgiving! 

I'm so thankful that both Alex and I have such wonderful families, it's truly such a blessing! I hope everyone else's Monday's are happy!

The Working Wife

This week has been an odd one for me so far. Work has been good. Home has been good. House is clean. Husband is happy. Kitty is happy. Everything is good. But I have been struggling with something this week... and I struggle with it from time to time.

I want to be a homemaker. A stay-at-home-wife. I want to cook and clean and have dinner on the table at the end of the day before it feels too late to eat. I want to get up and do grocery shopping in the morning. I want to get some bigger cleaning projects done that I know will take several hours. I want to start couponing.

Instead of all of those things, I go and sit at a desk all day dreaming about our little apartment and my husband and our kitten. I go home at the end of the day and squeeze in cooking a quick dinner (Emeals- woot woot!), put up my feet for a little while, maybe manage to clean the litter box and do some dishes, and then go to bed. That's my every day.

Most weeks, I don't dwell on this. Don't get me wrong - I am so blessed to be in a position that I can get my husband through school. I'm so happy he chose me and that we are on this path together. I'm so dumbfounded when I truly realized just how much God has blessed us with everything we have that I'm sometimes left speechless.

Sometimes though, I just can't shake that desire that seems to be ingrained in me. And maybe, maybe it will happen someday.

I'm thankful that I have a husband who would support me either way. He would love for me to be a stay-at-home-wife but he is totally cool with me being a working woman, too. We are both passionate about me being home full-time once we have children, though. I try to keep a realistic perspective and understand that things may not go that way. God may have other plans that don't match my plans.

One thing I do know for sure is that I'm thankful for my job. I am thankful for the people I work with and the small intricate details God worked out for me to be here. I will probably never fully understand His ways, but I know His ways are perfect.

It's funny, the challenges we have faced with my working full time and Alex being in school full time were not necessarily the challenges we thought we would face. It just goes to show that not everything is predictable. This whole journey has been a lot of guessing which door is the best to walk through without getting to peak first. As we approach Alex's April graduation (which is coming fast!), we are faced once again with several doors. There are a variety of options of what could be next, but it's truly impossible to choose without God leading us.

I guess I'm saying all of this to really say, that even when things are necessarily your idea of ideal, God still blesses, provides, and nurtures. He still loves unconditionally, and he helps when you are down. What I thought wasn't ideal turned into my life, my version of normal. I am a working wife putting her husband through grad school. And I'm SO thankful. But he's graduating in 5 months! Then what? Who knows! But what I do know is that God provides in very mysterious ways, and He seems to be opening many potential opportunities up for my husband.

If I can't get the house as clean as I want it, can't get the various projects done, can't get started couponing - that's really okay; it's not what I was really called to do. I was called to love the Lord, love and respect my husband and follow his leading our family. I think this "odd" week so far has been God's gentle reminder of those things. I knew this little nudging in my mind wasn't just so I could go around feeling discontent, this little discontented feeling was my humanness trying to take over.

All that said, I welcome advice! All you seasoned wives out there who have juggled working full-time yet somehow managing to be a domestic goddess - how do YOU do it?? I would love to share tips and tricks and learn and grow from other women! Thank GOD He calls us to be in fellowship!

xoxo

Fresh and New

Hello all! I've been taking hiatus from blogging for a month or so while things got really busy. I realize that that's something I mention pretty often. I decided though, that time will keep passing regardless of how busy or bored I am. It doesn't matter what's actually going on because the clock keeps ticking!

I want to start taking more initiative. I think it's really easy to slip into a pattern of "well this has been a really busy week at work so... (insert excuse)" I think there are a lot of things I would really enjoy doing if I could just develop the habits of making them part of daily life. I recently started following a blog by a lovely lady named Kaitlyn, and even though I don't know her at all, she's inspired me! (Go check out her blog, Wifessionals! Go! Do it now!) She just somehow manages being a wife with such grace. Having just welcomed her first baby, I can imagine there's a lot to do! But she still manages to make the most out of life.

I'm feeling so done with being lazy! Since I got a FitBit Flex, my eyes have been seriously opened to how little I move throughout the day. I am lucky with a good day to walk 4,000-5,000 steps and my daily goal is 10,000! That along with subscribing to Emeals low-carb diet plan, Alex and I really have been doing so much better! And I haven't forgotten about my commitments to getting my hiney back in shape, don't worry :) I've been trying not to focus so much of my energy on what the scale says; and really focus on how I feel, how my clothes fit, and how active I am.

I just want to put out there how thankful I am that I have a husband who is so committed to wellness. And when I say wellness, I don't necessarily mean just physically. He is so passionate about us being healthy people in every way: Spiritually, emotionally, mentally, AND Physically! He has told me time and time again that it has nothing to do with what I look like, but how I feel. He's an honest man who lets me know that it's attractive to him when I am committed to being well!

I guess the moral of the story with all my rambling today is that I want a fresh and new start. I want to continue the things that are working for me (emeals, fitbit, etc...) but start really fresh with other aspects of my life. Thank God for the ability to do that!

Enough rambling, I should probably catch up on what we've been up to lately! Since our vacation, school for Alex has been keeping him very busy. We've been trying to make the most of the small incriments of quality time we can manage. Thanks to The Voice, we spend time together on Monday nights and Tuesday nights! Can we just take a second to talk about Caroline Pennell?! Okay... her voice is so unique and wonderful. She has my vote!! Anyway, my point is that with all the hectic schedules around us, I'm so thankful that Alex and I can always acknowledge the real priority which is our marriage and our relationship with God. Everything that's keeping us busy is meaningless without those two priorities being in line.

We've been back and forth between home and the school on a daily basis... I'm so thankful I was blessed with employment at the school he's getting his degree from. It seriously helps us in the season of life where we are sharing one vehicle. My work is going very well and I'm loving it there more and more daily. Alex's workload with internship, part time work, debate, and thesis-writing is keeping him insanely busy, but as we remind ourselves often, we'd rather have too much to do, then be bored. We manage date nights pretty often which is nice!

Pretty soon we will begin really trying to figure out where we go from here once graduation comes. There are many paths we can take, and it looks kind of confusing at the moment! But we know God has a plan and we are just very excited to see where it takes us next! It will be so awesome once Alex officially has his master's degree!

So pretty much Alex and I have been religiously watching The Voice, keeping up with our young marrieds group weekly at our home, and really getting into the swing of the holiday season! We are so excited that it's finally this time of year! We have quite a few visits with family planned and my only prayers is that school won't be so stressful that it prevents Alex from truly enjoying his favorite time of year :) Our little furchild has been keeping us busy too, she's a little handful and has grown a lot since we brought her home! Here's a picture of Dolly with her very own sock monkey my parents bought for her!

All in all, life's been pretty darn good lately. As busy as things are sometimes, I'm so thankful to be in a place of peace. Things might get hectic soon with Alex finishing up his master's and we don't really know what's next... but that's okay :) Praise God we have each other, regardless of the next path we head down!