Showing posts with label Graduate School. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Graduate School. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Peace Amid the Chaos



Hello, remember me? I’m not sure how I completely lost sight and focus with this blog. It has been a roller coaster few months! Sounds cliché… it's what people generally say when they have neglected their blogs for a while (guilty!), but I mean this in a different way.

Life has actually been a roller coaster. With my husband winding down to finish grad school, we are faced with a time of transition – which we have not yet faced in our married relationship. When we were dating, the biggest transition we faced as a couple was graduating from college and getting married. While that was a beautiful time in our lives, it was stressful. I moved here alone, rented a room, and started the inevitable, terrifying job hunt so we would have the means to get him through graduate school. As I look back on that time, I am humbled in being able to stand outside of it looking in, seeing all the nooks and crannies where the Lord was doing work that I was unaware of. Oh how I would change that, how I would go back and acknowledge his beautiful handiwork, his perfectly orchestrated opportunities and interventions. Was I ignorant? Possibly. Stress can do incredible things to human beings.

I say all of that to explain that now, although we aren't under a time crunch of finding a job and planning a wedding, we’re facing more transitions and deadlines. In a moment of vulnerability let me explain:
I really haven’t sat down and had a heart to heart with my dear husband in a couple weeks. Don’t get me wrong, we've had plenty of conversations! This is most definitely not a complaint, we have both had to make some sacrifices! I have truly never been more impressed and proud of someone. Even though we may have not really had a heart to heart, I know his heart and he knows mine. I know his struggles and what’s bothering him, I know when he wants to give up and move on to something else, but then I watch him in his conflicted thoughts of apathy versus his drive to succeed for us and for the Lord...he gets up and goes back to the work that needs to be completed. I respect him so much. We both know this season will end soon (very soon!)... it's been a serious growing experience for both of us and I've never been more proud that he is mine.

Coming up here very quickly, he will really be done… and then what? All our marriage has ever known is grad school, which is an interesting idea. We have systems and routines that are a direct result of the situation we were in when we got married and they are about to change!

To say the least, we have been on a very long roller coaster.

For now, we are extremely excited for the CRUISE we booked!!!! We embark on May 4th and we could not be MORE excited! Praise God for opening this little window of opportunity for me and my husband to get away together, it is much needed! Happy graduation, Alex!!

We are trusting the Lord to take us where he will, because we know he will be faithful! Alex has already accepted a post graduate position he has been juggling alongside school for the last couple months. We know God truly provides!

Another reason I have neglected my blog (at least recently), is because I took a break from all social media during Lent and I considered the blog to be part of that. My purposes were to rid myself of one of the biggest distractions in my life that take me away from Jesus. I was not completely successful at keeping things simplified. I find that I am very good and finding distractions. That said, it was a wonderful decision, and I learned a lot about myself and a lot about the Lord. A lot has happened in that time-frame though!


Let’s play catchup!

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Shortly before what would have been his 18th birthday, my first kitty-love, my first real pet companion passed away. The 18 years of laughter and love I shared with Theo will never be forgotten. It was definitely a rough day but I'm glad I had my awesome hubby to let me cry and be there to cheer me up.


He loved Alex too, even though Alex came much later in Theo's life :)



The same evening I heard from my parents about Theo, Alex took me out for dinner and to distract me, I am very thankful for him. He even bought me this necklace:



On a lighter note, I am still completely amazed at the beauty that surrounds me every day. God has blessed us so much with His creation!! I took this picture when I was arriving to work one morning.


At the beginning of March, Alex and I had to opportunity to go back to CBU for the Christian Nationals Debate Tournament a whole day since Alex was working with Pepperdine's debate team. It was such a fun day! My good friend Amber went with me since her hubby debates and we spent the day with our guys, and I also got to see and catch up with some other friends as well!



Later in March, we had the fun idea to finally go explore Ventura! We had such a fun time. We checked out a local produce stand, went on a harbor boat tour, walked around the beach and ended the evening browsing Main street and having a lovely dinner at Dargan's , a local Irish pub!





Alex's good friend Tom, who was also in our wedding, was able to come down from Santa Barbara to visit! He and Alex went to come garage sales and we all had a lovely lunch at Chipotle together.... We love having visitors!


Speaking of garage sales, I scored the most amazingly pretty and chic ottoman!

Rug has since been gotten rid of and a new beige rug replaced this one :)
I was able to help plan and attend a pajama party movie night at our church! My friend Amber and I were very excited to be in the sanctuary in our pj's... particularly Amber in her kitty onesie!


With Alex wrapping up at Pepperdine, my department already finished the semester! We had a BBQ for the students and also had to attend/work the graduation the following Saturday. Love these ladies I work with!!!



Lastly, last week Alex and I were able to attend an Alumni event through CBU at Angels Stadium! It came with all you can eat hot dogs and chili, freebies, and admission to the game! We sat in Trout Farm (A section of the stadium for Mike Trout) just to explain the hat! We had tons of fun getting out of our town for an evening and spending some quality time together amid the chaos.


Alex was very into the game ;)
Through all the anxiety and stresses that come with life changes, God is always faithful and true to what He says, and for that I am thankful. My little family is just who they've always been and I love them so <3



I know this post was really long! I'm glad to get caught up though. For those who read all of it, thank you! I am blessed by you. Here's some cat humor to brighten your day :)















Tuesday, November 12, 2013

The Working Wife

This week has been an odd one for me so far. Work has been good. Home has been good. House is clean. Husband is happy. Kitty is happy. Everything is good. But I have been struggling with something this week... and I struggle with it from time to time.

I want to be a homemaker. A stay-at-home-wife. I want to cook and clean and have dinner on the table at the end of the day before it feels too late to eat. I want to get up and do grocery shopping in the morning. I want to get some bigger cleaning projects done that I know will take several hours. I want to start couponing.

Instead of all of those things, I go and sit at a desk all day dreaming about our little apartment and my husband and our kitten. I go home at the end of the day and squeeze in cooking a quick dinner (Emeals- woot woot!), put up my feet for a little while, maybe manage to clean the litter box and do some dishes, and then go to bed. That's my every day.

Most weeks, I don't dwell on this. Don't get me wrong - I am so blessed to be in a position that I can get my husband through school. I'm so happy he chose me and that we are on this path together. I'm so dumbfounded when I truly realized just how much God has blessed us with everything we have that I'm sometimes left speechless.

Sometimes though, I just can't shake that desire that seems to be ingrained in me. And maybe, maybe it will happen someday.

I'm thankful that I have a husband who would support me either way. He would love for me to be a stay-at-home-wife but he is totally cool with me being a working woman, too. We are both passionate about me being home full-time once we have children, though. I try to keep a realistic perspective and understand that things may not go that way. God may have other plans that don't match my plans.

One thing I do know for sure is that I'm thankful for my job. I am thankful for the people I work with and the small intricate details God worked out for me to be here. I will probably never fully understand His ways, but I know His ways are perfect.

It's funny, the challenges we have faced with my working full time and Alex being in school full time were not necessarily the challenges we thought we would face. It just goes to show that not everything is predictable. This whole journey has been a lot of guessing which door is the best to walk through without getting to peak first. As we approach Alex's April graduation (which is coming fast!), we are faced once again with several doors. There are a variety of options of what could be next, but it's truly impossible to choose without God leading us.

I guess I'm saying all of this to really say, that even when things are necessarily your idea of ideal, God still blesses, provides, and nurtures. He still loves unconditionally, and he helps when you are down. What I thought wasn't ideal turned into my life, my version of normal. I am a working wife putting her husband through grad school. And I'm SO thankful. But he's graduating in 5 months! Then what? Who knows! But what I do know is that God provides in very mysterious ways, and He seems to be opening many potential opportunities up for my husband.

If I can't get the house as clean as I want it, can't get the various projects done, can't get started couponing - that's really okay; it's not what I was really called to do. I was called to love the Lord, love and respect my husband and follow his leading our family. I think this "odd" week so far has been God's gentle reminder of those things. I knew this little nudging in my mind wasn't just so I could go around feeling discontent, this little discontented feeling was my humanness trying to take over.

All that said, I welcome advice! All you seasoned wives out there who have juggled working full-time yet somehow managing to be a domestic goddess - how do YOU do it?? I would love to share tips and tricks and learn and grow from other women! Thank GOD He calls us to be in fellowship!

xoxo