Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like we spend a ton of time
fighting and arguing. But we are human, and we’re imperfect, and we are bound
to have disagreements. Last weekend, we spent a night visiting with a couple,
Sarah and Jonathan, who we have become very close to over the last year or two.
They are really a wonderful duo to spend time with and are also recently
married.
I spent time chatting with my dear friend Sarah while the
guys were out and about and we discovered that a common thought we both end up
having as a result of disagreements with our husbands goes something like.. “why was that such a big deal to me?” or “why
didn’t I just let that go?” Does anyone know what I mean? Sometimes I seriously
wonder what came over me that one small thing was suddenly such a big deal that
I couldn’t just let it go, move on…no big deal. After thinking about this more,
I can only conclude that my fallen nature demands that I make a big deal about
silly things; that I act like a drama queen in reaction to my husband not doing
something he said he would do, or not being in the mood I think he should be
in, or that I didn’t get the amount of sleep I thought I needed, or, or, or…
you get the picture.
I have a choice though. Praise God He gave us the ability to
choose. I don’t have to be a drama
queen, and I don’t have to give in to
the world’s demands for selfishness. The problem that I encounter is that because my hubby and I are best friends, then by nature, he is who
I am genuinely my most authentic self with. And if my most authentic self has
trouble sometimes with allowing him to be less than perfect (key word:
SOMETIMES) than what does that say about who I am? I truly desire nothing more
than to serve my husband and to provide him with the most supportive sanctuary
of a home, full of love and consistency. I want him to be able to count on me.
Truly, I know he does and can count
on me, and I thank God so much for giving me the ability to be the wife I have
been so far even though I am prone to failure.
The conversation we had last night led to a discussion about
the importance of self-improvement and personal growth. We both want to devote
more of our time to this. If I am not spending the time I am supposed to in
prayer (on my own) and the time I am supposed to in the word (on my own) than
how can I really attack the issues that I personally have that have the ability
to affect my marriage? I desire to be a wife that is virtuous, and I see so
much room for improvement, and believe me, I think that’s a great thing! I am
so blessed to have a husband that values me, adores me, listens to me, and
trusts me with his life. I want to commit myself even more to the Lord so I can
be even more deserving of my husband’s trust and devotion.
I want a daily goal of mine to be to wake up and put aside
all selfishness, and submit each day to the Lord. He has mine, and my husband’s
best interest in mind and at heart and I want to [continue to] choose Him daily and not to give into
the world’s yanking me in the direction of selfishness. My God and my husband deserve
a woman who is pursuing kingdom things and godliness in every aspect of life!
Who can find a
virtuous and noble wife? She is more precious than rubies. Proverbs 31:10
xoxo
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